Monday, September 30, 2013

Quotes: Third Quarter 2013

C3 about the meatballs my mom was cooking: How close are those to being done?

Jonny: I used to have a crush on Mulder... That's the woman right?

Shea: Are those Xmen dollars?

Erica: That's weird. That's a weird thing to love. 

Vanessa after a super loud firework: Oh my god is that ok!?

Shea: You should watch Erica's sex syrup. 

M2: I mean... I remember going to Cracker Barrel....
Me: You mean Crack Fox?

M2: I like fodder. It's a good word, starts with f...

M2: Small dreams in the day time.

C3: It's like a dragon eating a rat fetus. 

Mom: Grab that baby!

Nhu: Where'd I put that sandwich? Oh shit. It's on the floor. 

Mom: I think she buffed a hair off my toe and then laughed about it. 

Emily: Hopefully I make some friends, and they don't like... rape me. 

C3: There was too much talking and not enough robot fighting. 

M2: Too late. Already touching it. 

Me: You'd get a nice nap in.
M2: Yeah it's called a concussion.

I mean I like powdered sugar, but not on twat waffles.

I mean if my fictional girlfriend told me we were having twat waffles for breakfast.... 

Mark: Now I can drink another ten cups of coffee and die. 

Mark: This is the stripper by the way. Thanks for that.
Audrey: How do you know?
Mark: She told me. In the interview.

Sue: Try to look black.
Jake: He tried to drown me.

C3: I sat in some sap.

Mark to me: You are my father. 

Doner: Cheerio, mother fucker.

Ol: I hope your day is game as fuck. 

Dad: It sounds profane. If anyone FBed me I'd go kick their ass.

C3: nothing cures boredom like cocaine. 

C3: I like hitting things with sticks.

Emily: I'm pregnant with thought. 

C3: Look at that kitty. It's like a little panther. 

Emily: Do you remember the robot that was stalking me?

Me: I could get you some kale.
Mark: I'd rather die. 

Mark. What are these mason jars in here? It looks like urine.

Sinh: He's a cool cat, and I like cats. 

C3: Have you ever seen a kangaroo? They are t-rex deer. 

M2: Can I pass on this post-hiking breakfast? I'm afraid this may manifest into post-hiking mid-day drinking. 

C3: There's your dose of smiles for the day.

Mike T: They poop out eggs. A lot. 

Jake, about N64: Want me to let you win?

Druid: I know how to handle a staff. 

C3: You're a vampire.

Nick Garvey: I hate churches because.... 

Nick Garvey: I bet you did. Because you're a great artist. 

Random bar guy: I have a Ryan Adams tattoo. 

Nick Garvey: I know what his job is. He's a Walmart greeter. 

Nick Garvey: I'm straight right now. I'd fuck a girl right now. 

Nick Garvey: I could sell this cigarette for a crack rock. 

Nick Garvey: I'm sorry my fancy shoes don't click when I walk. 

C3: I hope I don't look like that when I run. 

Nick Garvey: I pissed on Wash U. 

C3: You thought about it and then you ran into the bushes. 

Tim: Were you the bait?

Audrey to Druid: I'm gonna stab you later. 

Tim: I can't finish a bottle of Hendricks. I'll die.

C3: ...and there's my train of thought so no one ask me any more questions.

M2: There's nothing but crazy, and cocaine, and bitches. 

Emily: Lord of the Rings characters: Smeagol.
C3: Aragorn.
Me: Gandalf
Nhu: Is it Billy..?

C3: I'm the second coming of Aaron Carter. Carter two.

Mom. He's gay... is he strong?

Mark: I don't want you to see his naked body. 

Mom: She's six, and I'm afraid of this little bitch. She's gonna shank me. 

Woodge: I'm going to steal this, and I don't want anyone to see
Me: What is it?
Woodge: This rock. 

Cash: I like leather. 

Cash: To the disappointment of many a fellow, I'm not.

Me: Sit still.
Keo: I can't do that, or I'll explode. My whole body is the bus from Speed.

C3: I think our intern is getting cheeky. 

C3: All the tasties are back. 

Mark to me: If you google "Chris Bruehl" your photo comes up.

Mark: What are you doing, Chris?
Doner: Googling "spider eyes."

Advice from Kidwell: Pepto and vodka. 

Mark: Sure that's just what we need. Give you sharp objects to throw.
Cash: So that's going to be a whole bunch of pajamas.

Cash: No one expects velocorapters.

Cash: 20-80.

Cash: Sometimes, I'm a keeper.

Cash: You know what happens when I don't fidget? My butt hurts! 

Cash: I like how my head feels.

Cash: I wish you could feel my head.... no... from the inside.

Cash: You might want to get more water cuz I drank yours too. ...I started laughing when I finished both. 

Emily: .........glob glob.

C3: I'm not sure what to do with that. I'm going to let that one simmer. 

C3: I like him... He's just so fucking different. In so many ways.

M2: ...Sorry pupils are dilated. 

Julian. I like Science City
Me: You mean the Science Center?

Me: I like cinnamon on grits.
Lance: I like cinnamon on butter. 

Cash: Raptor assisted genocide. 
Cash. You have to know when to pull out. 

Doner: Want to see something awesome?
M2: Does it involve a primary color?

Doner: We suck five!

Emily: I don't like random solids surprising me in my liquids! 
C3: Not supposed to be a surprise or random. 

Doug: You want to do what with that!?

Daniel Ronnback: It's bluebird, and between every photo you have the best days of your life. 

Doner to M2: Are you eating yogurt and steak? 

Antoine Berger: Life is a succession of choices. 

C3: I'm not really a montage person.

Doner: I was going for "ghost." You're the only person that can see me. See? Sinh. Sinh. Hey Sinh!

M2: I want to steal his keys... GTA 5 is coming out soon and I kinda want to prepare... These are very girly keys. I don't want them anymore. How would Doner set down his keys? -slams them down- 

Vedran: you want me to go hiking? I'm foreign!

C3: Now I'm going to search that and see what comes up... This is a fun game. 

C3: You should bring me meat every day. 

Emily: This is blasph-fucking-eme 

C3: It takes a special kind of man to look attractive when he's pooping. 

Emily: What are you... like... a manist? 

Megan: I understand white people speak. 

Mom: She doesn't drink!
Sue: But she's still funny...

Pawpaw: eat the hamburger. Don't eat the pie. 

Cash: And soon I will recede into my subterranean lair. ...Soon. 

Matt: I thought it was black people and everyone else. 

Vedran: Love you. No homo. 

C3: I'm like 25% Chinese at this point.

Mark: Cut this. CUT IT FOR ME!

Cash: Anytime I look for anything in this house I find a gun instead. Looking for packing tape? Gun. Lighter fluid? Gun. I'm sure everything I need in life is actually in the gun safe.

Cash: I'll kiss a girl with lip gloss!

Vedran: Did you see that!?
Doner: I did. I'm impressed.
Vedran leaves.
Doner: I'm not really impressed.

Cash: I don't rely on medicine to make me feel better, but whiskey has been around for centuries. 

Cash: Where did he go? I'm so concerned.
Chris Seaton: Are you going to straw it again?
Cash: Might as well. I'm not enjoying it.
Cash: I don't always insult people, but when I do I make sure it's a good un. 

Cash: I'd drink for you. Cash 9-24

Cash: What your gonna do... Is change the dates. 
Cash: I want you to use this insult... (starts laughing and forgets what it was.)
Mark: I got the idea from Donut Palace!

Mark: What else can we get juice from? The blood of former employees?

C3: Doesn't he cough on you in your sleep?

Cash: I don't always talk a lot, but when I do it's about Johnny cash. 

Mark: My three year old calls him "the funny little man."

Dawn: He looks like a giant wolverine 

That's what I call retarded!