M2: C3 is not a cat.
C3: I can be for the right amount of money.
M2: I only want the third one. Your first two kids are going to be a mess.
Me: Need something?
M2: Jason, Zach, Billy, Kimberly, Trina and Tommy.
Me: I don't know what that means.
M2: I don't know. I was just naming Power Rangers.
Nick: I'm trying to eat.
Dad: Honey booboo, honey booboo, honey booboo's mom.
Blair: They look identical! I mean… I'm not wearing my glasses…
C3: Can you build me an army of boxes worthy of Mordor?
C3: Sounds like you're all going to get food poisoning.
Grandpa: White delights.
Dave: What's this cat's name? Not that it matters. We could call it "Disinfectant Wipes" and it'd come.
M2: Would it help if I told you I'm Asian?
Nick Cash: Crack cocaine and prostitutes. Enjoy your cake.
Sinh: I risked my life for coconut once.
Dave: You gotta play the game, bitch.
C3: Dave? Did you take my pants?
Sinh: …I get more likes with a cat photo.
M2: It's built so it will float when it's in space.
C3: Yeah. Me too.
Emily: I'm not the evil sex demon.
C3: If we live in this area I'm definitely buying a gun.
C3: Are we in a good area or bad? I see a Churches. Definitely a bad area.
Mark: I'm kind of a slum lord.
M2: I can feel your tears through the keyboard.
Anonymous: Genocide has its place.
C3: I'm going to ignore this for twelve hours and if it's still a thing….
C3: I'm pretty hit or miss tonight.
M2: I want a pony. My dreams are so great.
Mark: Waste yourself.
Emily: Gushers is my go-to example of why I don't like food to surprise me.
Anonymous: Nipple blades, glory holes, and Auschwitz.
Megan: Because he wants to spider monkey me?
C3 about M2's autobiography: Call it "Outside the Lines: A Coloring Book by Mike Ly."
C3: I am not a peep. I am not a marshmallow candy.
Jake: Abby? Do you eat bugs?
Ryan: Did that guy just pick up a lollipop?
Mark to me: Got any of those pills?
Mark: There's a pickle in his drawer. Sinh has a pickle in his drawer. Seriously. It's a pickle in a bag.
Nick Garvey: Why is everyone coughing in this house? Do I need to leave?
C3: Just get a margarita and shut the hell up.
Ryan: I'll be your scary wing-man. Sleep with him or I'll kill you.
Sean: Here is a bat manatee .
Mark: Are you Mormon? Does your shirt say "Mormon!?"
Ryan: Aye yie yie! That hole was hot!
Mark: One of these days you're going to bite into something. You're going to get electrocuted and you're going to die.
Cam: I'm gonna go with "pop a boner."
Emily: Why would I pull it?
C3: What the fuck, bro? You fucking lizard.
C3: I don't think she can. I don't think I want to. I'm not going to be pressured into it.
Emily: No. What your finger wants to do…
Emily: I know what a Bop It is, but I meant a Skip It.
C3: The Bop It tangent is over.
Anthony: I'll just chug a bunch of water. Do you have any bread?
Megan: I have a violin and she wants to play it.
Cam: A filter? A filter!? You Canadians doing your weird shit…
Cam: Who's Elmer Fudge?
Emily: I can't do.
Emily: So… Tell me about the chocolate carrots.
Cam: Yeah. That "L" word? That's carrots.
C3 holds up a mirror to me: I'm surprised you didn't turn into stone.
Joe: It's like an escape pod for your phone.
Candace: You cannot throw a Coach purse off the balcony!
Mark: I'm black.
Doner: I think you just gave yourself cancer.
C3: It's stabbin' time.