Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Quotes: First Quarter 2014

Danel: I don't want to hurt you. I just want to pet you to death.

Shea: Pretend he's a girl.

Me: I'm not judging too hard. Aloud.
Rob: I can hear it!

Rob about his car: It's hot like a weight lifting chick.

Nhu: I saw sausages in the kitchen.

Mark: LG? They make TVs and ice makers.

C3: Ooh you're making me giggle.

C3: She has puppy-pecia.

M2: Well this... was a waste... of my time. ...Ooh! Markers!!

Danel: Those were some nice kicks.
Me: Thanks. I can kick higher when I don't have these boots on.
Danel: You only have to kick this high to take me out.

C3: I killed a biker for this jacket. I killed him with a chain. I wasn't wearing a shirt. I got cut up and dirty, but not too dirty

Nhu: Is there a word for self-torture?
C3: Masochism.
Nhu: Assafixem?

C3: You're a grown woman. You know what boobs look like.
Nhu: Not a black woman's.

Nhu takes a sip of C3s coffee: Black coffee. Takes a sip of her own coffee: Sugar coffee.

Rob: If your dog were a human it'd be a crayon eater.

Rob: Just call me the waffle whisperer.

Rob: I brought you meat.

Rob: "Creeper" would be me sitting in the room with all the lights off laughing.

Rob: All I want right now... is Lee's Chicken.

Rob: What do you want from me? Perfection? I know what I want from me... Lee's Chicken.

Mom: It became this layer of fuck-tastic stuff...

Rob: I don't want you to see my gimp suit.

Rob: You're really going to make me play this for you to prove I'm not full of shit.
Me: I know you're not full of shit.
Rob: Alright. To impress you then.

Rob: And only you and I know we're going to wear it out like a dirty whore.

Rob: I'm really glad to see you. You bring sanity to my world.
Me: I'm the sane part of your life? That's kind of sad.
Rob: Don't under value yourself.

Rob: His proportions are wrong.
Howard: He was drawn wrong?
Rob: The big drawer in the sky.... was on Hydrocodone.

Rob: Last time it was the big hairy guy with the penis. What should we do this time?

Me: Can you feel my glare?
Rob: It burns!

C3: Well now what am I gonna do? I guess I'll get pretty drunk and go shoot guns tomorrow.

C3: My feet is too dry.

Me: You suck
Doner: That's what I do.

Danel: Well I mean... If you think about it... If you stab someone with an icicle it would just melt and leave a hole. "The perfect murder. He was stabbed with an icicle..." So yeah that'll cost you twenty bucks.

Budde: Don't spank my ass. Get it.

Mark: everybody loves me and talk bad about me when I go home.

Rob: Abby needs to be here right now. We'd giggle like two little bitches.

Wilson: He made me put the teapot on the coaster.

Danel: I don't like sticky things on my phone. It kind of freaks me out.

Danel about Sinh: His biscuit head is too top heavy. It makes him fall over.

Mike Ly: I hate this guy over here. See? All he does is serenade me.

Dawn: Speaking of friends... Where's my goddamn wake and bake?

Wilson: Well. Long story. I'm waiting for him to finish a poem and a D&D character.

Me: Just for the record I did not strip for this dollar.
Nick: Just for the record he (Anthony) probably did.

Ellie: Can my kindle do that? Just say no.

Danel: Hoodie. What the hell.

Mark: See? When I google it I get beanie babies.

Danel: You're not salty like a biscuit. You're sweet. "You're a sour patch." Fuck you.

Noelle: No problem, Nebraska.

Noelle: False hopes, Wyoming

Jessica. This is where we keep our community food, like Sriracha and tea...

Joe: Tea?
Andy: Tea? I love you. I want your babies.

Joe E.: When in doubt, shove it in your slot.

Josh Stafaniack: What did you get her, a jar full of hate?

Nick Garvey: I think the drummer is a paranoid schizophrenic

Caroline: Her middle name isn't Slut.

Mom: Think you can hold it steady?
Caroline: I'm not sure.

Caroline: Fuck the Lent bullshit.

Katie: I should spit on Kristen.

Vedran: nenenenenenene
Me: That was not a batman noise.
Vedran: I got excited.

C3: I should be a parrot.

Rob: I wanna go to the white trash capital of MO this spring.
Me: Jeff city has some of the best ice cream. Central Dairy. Mmm.
Rob: I definitely meant Six Flags.

Me: Are you done signing that card yet?
Doner: All I've done is draw nipples so far.

Rob: You're such a fragile flower.

Mark: Hey! Did you see my hammock?!
Doner... Worst sexual innuendo ever.

Me: Do you ever feel like you're making potions?
Rob: YES! ...yes.