Danel: I don't want to hurt you. I just want to pet you to death.
Shea: Pretend he's a girl.
Me: I'm not judging too hard. Aloud.
Rob: I can hear it!
Rob about his car: It's hot like a weight lifting chick.
Nhu: I saw sausages in the kitchen.
Mark: LG? They make TVs and ice makers.
C3: Ooh you're making me giggle.
C3: She has puppy-pecia.
M2: Well this... was a waste... of my time. ...Ooh! Markers!!
Danel: Those were some nice kicks.
Me: Thanks. I can kick higher when I don't have these boots on.
Danel: You only have to kick this high to take me out.
C3: I killed a biker for this jacket. I killed him with a chain. I
wasn't wearing a shirt. I got cut up and dirty, but not too dirty
Nhu: Is there a word for self-torture?
C3: You're a grown woman. You know what boobs look like.
Nhu: Not a black woman's.
Nhu takes a sip of C3s coffee: Black coffee. Takes a sip of her own coffee: Sugar coffee.
Rob: If your dog were a human it'd be a crayon eater.
Rob: Just call me the waffle whisperer.
Rob: I brought you meat.
Rob: "Creeper" would be me sitting in the room with all the lights off laughing.
Rob: All I want right now... is Lee's Chicken.
Rob: What do you want from me? Perfection? I know what I want from me... Lee's Chicken.
Mom: It became this layer of fuck-tastic stuff...
Rob: I don't want you to see my gimp suit.
Rob: You're really going to make me play this for you to prove I'm not full of shit.
Me: I know you're not full of shit.
Rob: Alright. To impress you then.
Rob: And only you and I know we're going to wear it out like a dirty whore.
Rob: I'm really glad to see you. You bring sanity to my world.
Me: I'm the sane part of your life? That's kind of sad.
Rob: Don't under value yourself.
Rob: His proportions are wrong.
Howard: He was drawn wrong?
Rob: The big drawer in the sky.... was on Hydrocodone.
Rob: Last time it was the big hairy guy with the penis. What should we do this time?
Me: Can you feel my glare?
Rob: It burns!
C3: Well now what am I gonna do? I guess I'll get pretty drunk and go shoot guns tomorrow.
C3: My feet is too dry.
Me: You suck
Doner: That's what I do.
Danel: Well I mean... If you think about it... If you stab someone with an
icicle it would just melt and leave a hole. "The perfect murder. He was
stabbed with an icicle..." So yeah that'll cost you twenty bucks.
Budde: Don't spank my ass. Get it.
Mark: everybody loves me and talk bad about me when I go home.
Rob: Abby needs to be here right now. We'd giggle like two little bitches.
Wilson: He made me put the teapot on the coaster.
Danel: I don't like sticky things on my phone. It kind of freaks me out.
Danel about Sinh: His biscuit head is too top heavy. It makes him fall over.
Mike Ly: I hate this guy over here. See? All he does is serenade me.
Dawn: Speaking of friends... Where's my goddamn wake and bake?
Wilson: Well. Long story. I'm waiting for him to finish a poem and a D&D character.
Me: Just for the record I did not strip for this dollar.
Nick: Just for the record he (Anthony) probably did.
Ellie: Can my kindle do that? Just say no.
Danel: Hoodie. What the hell.
Mark: See? When I google it I get beanie babies.
Danel: You're not salty like a biscuit. You're sweet. "You're a sour patch." Fuck you.
Noelle: No problem, Nebraska.
Noelle: False hopes, Wyoming
Jessica. This is where we keep our community food, like Sriracha and tea...
Andy: Tea? I love you. I want your babies.
Joe E.: When in doubt, shove it in your slot.
Josh Stafaniack: What did you get her, a jar full of hate?
Nick Garvey: I think the drummer is a paranoid schizophrenic
Caroline: Her middle name isn't Slut.
Mom: Think you can hold it steady?
Caroline: I'm not sure.
Caroline: Fuck the Lent bullshit.
Katie: I should spit on Kristen.
Me: That was not a batman noise.
Vedran: I got excited.
C3: I should be a parrot.
Rob: I wanna go to the white trash capital of MO this spring.
Me: Jeff city has some of the best ice cream. Central Dairy. Mmm.
Rob: I definitely meant Six Flags.
Me: Are you done signing that card yet?
Doner: All I've done is draw nipples so far.
Rob: You're such a fragile flower.
Mark: Hey! Did you see my hammock?!
Doner... Worst sexual innuendo ever.
Me: Do you ever feel like you're making potions?
Rob: YES! ...yes.