Monday, December 30, 2013

Quotes: Fourth Quarter 2013 (most of them, anyway...)

Due to a glitch, a chunk of the quote list was sadly lost forever in a sea of technological misfortune. On the plus side, the quotes that remain intact are worth the read :) 

Cash: I will wear a helmet. 

Mark: ...we keep him in the basement. 

Rob: It's like drinking a campfire. 

Rob: I'm like a 14 year old girl....

Sinh: I never shower. Fuck that. 

Steve: Actually, I'm waiting for my gun so I can get the hell out of here!

Druid: I've got a case of princessites.

Rob: You fucking suck. At life. 

Rob: I guess I could be Robin... 

Rob: What if I don't want him to do it?

Vedran: I trimmed my Serbian beard. 

C3: they're pleated. They hide stuff. 

C3: I don't know what he's looking at down there. 

Cash: I'll text you if I'm funny. 

C3: So what do you do when you're not wearing sweaters and drinking beer?

Cash: Isn't that the plot of Jurassic Park?

Chris Seaton: I could probably tackle an Australian / New Zeland gal. 

Rob: I used to think capers were gross, too. Then I grew up. 

Rob: You can't have Fritos?!

Cash: If this text conversation was about to be a college level research paper, that would be the motherfucking hook, my friend. 

Rob: I just learned that Sprite is the number one drink for helping with a hangover. I don't really like sprite, but I'd give it a try. 
9-10: Rob walks in and sets a giant bottle of sprite on my desk. 

Mark: The last time I tried to program my garage door opener using a YouTube, I opened my neighbor's. 

Mark: If you are not Scottish a kilt is just a skirt. 

Nhu: They have happy hour from 2-6
C3: Every hour is happy for me.
Mark: Every hour is not happy for me. I will not sugar coat it. 

Rob: Do not take anything I say seriously unless I say..."I'm serious."

Rob: Facebook is for children. 

Rob: This is how you make me feel when you order me to do things...

Mark: I just need you to find me the fairies. 

Cash: Tegan and Sara are my spirit animal. 

Woodge: Let's just call it a rapey bar. 

Woodge: I know you're friends with him, but it looks like he dyed his hair with koolaid.
Cash: I'm about 87% sure he did. 

Cash: You're interesting. 
Woodge: Thanks. I'm 30.

Cash: Do you want me to get more wood? Do you want me to blow on it?

Cash: You make me happy on a spiritual level. 

Woodge: I love this night. Lets give hugs. 

Woodge: Ducks like meth. 

Cash: If I ever own a duck... 

Woodge: He doesn't have teeth.

Rob: I'm like a little girl. Bladder the size of a thimble. 

Jax: That's not what I'm trying to say. The monkey is not in the oven. 

Me: Is that a burn mark?
Mark: Yes. I set it on fire. 

C3: Do you think that truck is full of blood?

C3: I'm gonna go pee in the alley.


Cash: It's thicker than I'm used to.

Cash: Weird place for the trail to be

Cash: That's one thing Jim Beam has on candy...


Mark: That would be gay.

Mark: I find great release in ironing.

Mark: Dogs don't count. Especially starving weird ones.


Cash: If I could give one thing to the block...

Cash: Card master and picking thumbs. 


Cash to me: Settle down, White Fang.

Me: What kind of pizza do you like?

Cash: Baby making music.


Vedran: Anyone listen to the new Eminem album?
Me: Yes. Love it.
Vedran: Tits.


C3: If you wear a suit without gloves you look like a business man. If you wear a suit with gloves you look like an assassin.

Cash: You made a waffle called The Smith & Wesson?

Me: I did indeed...
Cash: Marriage material. 

Rob: ... But if you fuck up my fu-man...

Rob: I look like a catfish.


Vedran: Sinh, I'm going to visit you this weekend and chop your fingers off.

C3: Why is everyone laughing today? FROWN!

Doner: Thumb meat butt.

C3: That was a joke about domestic violence. It was funny.

Garvey: I don't know what this is. "Stockholm syndrome?" Am I retarded?

Me and c3: Yes.

Anthony: When I popped what came out?

Garvey: A defective condom would have been good....

C3: BAM! me Emeral.

C3: I bite my thumb at thee!

Anthony: Well I give you the raspberries.

Garvey: That's because Mexico is dirty.

C3: Dammit she loves pterodactyl eggs! She fucking loves pterodactyl eggs!

Anthony: I can fix it! ...I can't fix it.

Anthony pushes the table, and looks around confused: Oh. I meant to scoot myself.

Garvey: She's a fat fucking bitch.

Me: I thought you loved her.
Garvey. I do.

Anthony. That wasn't even funny, but I laughed at it.

Garvey: HAHAHA! Iiiiii need to look this up.

Anthony: Actually those look like the gloves you'd wear when you kill someone...


Rob. I'm offering you an egg. I'm offering you an egg, and you're laughing at me.

Rob: Do you like peas?

C3: The sun will come out tomorrow

Cash: Doubt it.


Joe: My sister used to throw scissors at me.

Me: I'm working on my stop motion.

Cash: Me too. As in, I've stopped moving.

Doner: That's ok. I was too busy emailing you from the future.

M2: That was you?!


Rob: feels like a bad moon rising...


Sinh: Danel!
Danel: What!?
Sinh: It works.
Danel: Oh my god. Here I come.

Seaton: It's a tri-win-da

Seaton: Oh! Here's me in a turtle shell.

Seaton: I have a chest, too.


Garvey. I like the Latino bitch.
Cash: She's Israeli.

Random guy at Picassos: One of my buddies... Is writing a book.... About dragons.

Garvey: Cupboards!? I like people that say "cupboards." Ah. Sorry. Continue.

Cash: Have you ever tasted a real man?


Shea: I like murder.

Shea: He's tiny and he's fast, and he can fit under trees!

Ellie: Oh my god. This is not my favorite song.

Shea. I'm just tired from getting low.


M2: I got shocked in the ear hole the other day...


Rob: .... I just saw Steve running.

Rob: ... Can I just pet her??


Shanesha: That pie was amazing. I wanna put it in some ice cream... Or a milkshake... I need a nap.


Mom. I need my.... Get it for me!

Druid's Nick: Who licked me?


Rob: Definitely had dreams with raccoons in them last night.

Me: What is it with you and those gloves?

C3: They separate me from this filthy world.

Rob: Wanna make sausage?


Me: That actually made me really happy.
Rob: Are you blushing?

Vedran to Sinh: Shut up. Go back to your zone. Nobody likes you.


Hitler was pretty awesome.

Howard: I'm a guy. There's blue and orange and pink... And sometimes you mix them and get different colors...?


Rob: You know how many people are not coordinated? Lots.

Rob: Look. I even found one that's small and broken for you.

Rob: Have you ever thought about genocide?

Rob. Sausage making bee man.

Rob: From butts to wieners.

Nhu: Are you ok?

Vedran: I'm drunk.

M2: Hey, Danel is here!

Vedran: Let's punch him in the throat!


C3: I love man meat.

C3: At least you don't have a crappy little hand.

Anthony: What's a figgy pudding?

C3 Do I touch it?


Rob: Shoot me
Me: Only if you shoot me first
Rob: Aww. It's like a death pact. How cute.

Me: Why do you keep bees?

Rob: it's like having 60,000 little pets.

Rob: hahahajajajaha... That was me laughing partly in Spanish.


Rob one of these days I'm going to wear my wrestling clothes and then your ass is mine.

Rob: my jeans aren't that tight.

Cash: Oh nom nom nom. Daddy issues.

Cash: I look like a pink candle kind of guy.

C3: Rube-in-stine


Cash: I have a tongue like iron


Starbucks guy: She's like a chinchilla. She takes baths in dust.

Jake: I really want to go back to my family.

Shea: Know what I like about drag queens?


Caroline: Someone needs a nap. And it's me.

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