Quote List: July 1 through December 31st, 2012

7-2
Mom: I'm going to be a dung beetle in my next life. I'm going to spend my whole life looking for shit and being happy I found it.

8-4
Mom as she slams the door shut: Suzanne! No matter what, say "no!"
Mike: Do you have a calculator?

8-13
Shea: What kind of poor kids are we talking about?

8-22
My dad talking about Romney in this debate, "He looks like an adoring bride."

Mom: Thank you for not eating the last half-pea.

8-23
Dave: Roll it like a joint.

8-31
Aaron: Well this breeze can fuck off.

Luke: Ha… ahhhh. This place is fucked.

9-1
Sean: You just gotta homeless it.

Lance: I just pissed on a spider.

9-3
Anthony: Dumb ass horse movies…

Shea: She's the one that sleep walks and eats sausage, right?

Anthony: You weren't spoiled because you had hotdog buns.

Anthony: Wait- go back to her aunt and uncle. She had a baby with what?

9-8
Dad: Yeah. I'm going up a one-way street. You're buying drugs. Who cares?

9-12
Emily: Eleven pounds of ginger chews coming through.

Mom: I was ready to kill and die.

Mom: I think I have rice under my toe

9-15
Cam S.: If Batman had a watch, this would be it.

9-18
Dave: Wow. Everyone is so indecisive! Lunch should be a festive occasion…

9-18
M2: I get pissy when it rains.
Mark: You get prissy when it rains?

10-4
Dave to Sinh: You laugh like a girl.

Greg: He calls himself Vader. What a fag.

Greg: Re-cock-ulous. You're welcome.

10-6
Mom: Why do you deal me these cards?
Sue: Because I love you.

10-8
Cam S.: What is this?
Dave: A scale. For drugs.

10-12
Rosie: Dogs are awkward. Cats just kind of melt into puddles.

Nick: The fridge of poor people: Beer, pickles and jelly.

10-25
Nick: Oh. I forgot she'd have to bring her family.

10-31
Cam S.: Does anyone else smell a turkey cooking?

11-2
Cam S.: That little tree almost took out a baby

11-5
M2: The last time she went to the bank some guy offered her "favors." We get nothin'.

CD: Day drinking. It's rough.

11-14
CD: Holy essay of an email, Batman!

11-15
CD: Bippity boppity booyah.

11-27
Mark: I feel like a grizzly bear.

11-24
Mom: I don't know why animals are sexually attracted to me.

12-4
Dave: That's what I need. I need crack. Right now.

M2: It's not magic if it's real.

Dave: What happens is I HAVE gum, and then some sneaky fucking trolls come in and steal my shit.

12-13
M2: I'm slightly on drugs so everything looks cool.

12-30
Kidwell: Google "Murder in Honduras."

12-31
Ryan: The cops are gonna come. We're gonna get tased.