Monday, December 30, 2013

Quotes: Fourth Quarter 2013 (most of them, anyway...)

Due to a glitch, a chunk of the quote list was sadly lost forever in a sea of technological misfortune. On the plus side, the quotes that remain intact are worth the read :) 


10-1 
Cash: I will wear a helmet. 

10-2
Mark: ...we keep him in the basement. 

Rob: It's like drinking a campfire. 

Rob: I'm like a 14 year old girl....

10-3 
Sinh: I never shower. Fuck that. 

Steve: Actually, I'm waiting for my gun so I can get the hell out of here!

Druid: I've got a case of princessites.

Rob: You fucking suck. At life. 

10-4 
Rob: I guess I could be Robin... 

Rob: What if I don't want him to do it?

Vedran: I trimmed my Serbian beard. 

C3: they're pleated. They hide stuff. 

C3: I don't know what he's looking at down there. 

Cash: I'll text you if I'm funny. 

10-7 
C3: So what do you do when you're not wearing sweaters and drinking beer?

Cash: Isn't that the plot of Jurassic Park?

Chris Seaton: I could probably tackle an Australian / New Zeland gal. 

10-9 
Rob: I used to think capers were gross, too. Then I grew up. 

Rob: You can't have Fritos?!

10-10 
Cash: If this text conversation was about to be a college level research paper, that would be the motherfucking hook, my friend. 

10-9
Rob: I just learned that Sprite is the number one drink for helping with a hangover. I don't really like sprite, but I'd give it a try. 
9-10: Rob walks in and sets a giant bottle of sprite on my desk. 

10-9
Mark: The last time I tried to program my garage door opener using a YouTube, I opened my neighbor's. 

10-11
Mark: If you are not Scottish a kilt is just a skirt. 

Nhu: They have happy hour from 2-6
C3: Every hour is happy for me.
Mark: Every hour is not happy for me. I will not sugar coat it. 

Rob: Do not take anything I say seriously unless I say..."I'm serious."

Rob: Facebook is for children. 

Rob: This is how you make me feel when you order me to do things...
 














Mark: I just need you to find me the fairies. 

Cash: Tegan and Sara are my spirit animal. 

Woodge: Let's just call it a rapey bar. 

Woodge: I know you're friends with him, but it looks like he dyed his hair with koolaid.
Cash: I'm about 87% sure he did. 

Cash: You're interesting. 
Woodge: Thanks. I'm 30.

Cash: Do you want me to get more wood? Do you want me to blow on it?

Cash: You make me happy on a spiritual level. 

Woodge: I love this night. Lets give hugs. 

Woodge: Ducks like meth. 

Cash: If I ever own a duck... 

Woodge: He doesn't have teeth.

10-12 
Rob: I'm like a little girl. Bladder the size of a thimble. 

10-15 
Jax: That's not what I'm trying to say. The monkey is not in the oven. 

10-17 
Me: Is that a burn mark?
Mark: Yes. I set it on fire. 

10-18 
C3: Do you think that truck is full of blood?

C3: I'm gonna go pee in the alley.


THIS IS WHERE THE TRADGEDY STRUCK AND SEVERAL GREAT QUOTES WERE LOST....


10-30
Cash: It's thicker than I'm used to.

Cash: Weird place for the trail to be


Cash: That's one thing Jim Beam has on candy...


10-31 

Mark: That would be gay.

Mark: I find great release in ironing.


Mark: Dogs don't count. Especially starving weird ones.


11-2 

Cash: If I could give one thing to the block...

Cash: Card master and picking thumbs. 


11-3 

Cash to me: Settle down, White Fang.

Me: What kind of pizza do you like?

Cash: Baby making music.

11-7 

Vedran: Anyone listen to the new Eminem album?
Me: Yes. Love it.
Vedran: Tits.

11-13 

C3: If you wear a suit without gloves you look like a business man. If you wear a suit with gloves you look like an assassin.

Cash: You made a waffle called The Smith & Wesson?

Me: I did indeed...
Cash: Marriage material. 

Rob: ... But if you fuck up my fu-man...


Rob: I look like a catfish.


11-15

Vedran: Sinh, I'm going to visit you this weekend and chop your fingers off.

C3: Why is everyone laughing today? FROWN!


Doner: Thumb meat butt.


C3: That was a joke about domestic violence. It was funny.


Garvey: I don't know what this is. "Stockholm syndrome?" Am I retarded?

Me and c3: Yes.

Anthony: When I popped what came out?

Garvey: A defective condom would have been good....

C3: BAM! ...call me Emeral.


C3: I bite my thumb at thee!

Anthony: Well I give you the raspberries.

Garvey: That's because Mexico is dirty.


C3: Dammit she loves pterodactyl eggs! She fucking loves pterodactyl eggs!


Anthony: I can fix it! ...I can't fix it.


Anthony pushes the table, and looks around confused: Oh. I meant to scoot myself.


Garvey: She's a fat fucking bitch.

Me: I thought you loved her.
Garvey. I do.

Anthony. That wasn't even funny, but I laughed at it.


Garvey: HAHAHA! Iiiiii need to look this up.


Anthony: Actually those look like the gloves you'd wear when you kill someone...


11-19 

Rob. I'm offering you an egg. I'm offering you an egg, and you're laughing at me.

Rob: Do you like peas?


C3: The sun will come out tomorrow

Cash: Doubt it.

11-20 

Joe: My sister used to throw scissors at me.

Me: I'm working on my stop motion.

Cash: Me too. As in, I've stopped moving.

Doner: That's ok. I was too busy emailing you from the future.

M2: That was you?!

11-21 

Rob: feels like a bad moon rising...

11-22

Sinh: Danel!
Danel: What!?
Sinh: It works.
Danel: Oh my god. Here I come.

Seaton: It's a tri-win-da


Seaton: Oh! Here's me in a turtle shell.


Seaton: I have a chest, too.


11-23

Garvey. I like the Latino bitch.
Cash: She's Israeli.

Random guy at Picassos: One of my buddies... Is writing a book.... About dragons.


Garvey: Cupboards!? I like people that say "cupboards." Ah. Sorry. Continue.


Cash: Have you ever tasted a real man?


11-24 

Shea: I like murder.

Shea: He's tiny and he's fast, and he can fit under trees!


Ellie: Oh my god. This is not my favorite song.


Shea. I'm just tired from getting low.


11-25 

M2: I got shocked in the ear hole the other day...

11-26 

Rob: .... I just saw Steve running.

Rob: ... Can I just pet her??


11-27 

Shanesha: That pie was amazing. I wanna put it in some ice cream... Or a milkshake... I need a nap.

11-29

Mom. I need my.... Get it for me!

Druid's Nick: Who licked me?


11-30 

Rob: Definitely had dreams with raccoons in them last night.

Me: What is it with you and those gloves?

C3: They separate me from this filthy world.

Rob: Wanna make sausage?


12-2

Me: That actually made me really happy.
Rob: Are you blushing?

Vedran to Sinh: Shut up. Go back to your zone. Nobody likes you.


12-4 

Hitler was pretty awesome.

Howard: I'm a guy. There's blue and orange and pink... And sometimes you mix them and get different colors...?


12-5 

Rob: You know how many people are not coordinated? Lots.

Rob: Look. I even found one that's small and broken for you.


Rob: Have you ever thought about genocide?


Rob. Sausage making bee man.


Rob: From butts to wieners.


12-6
Nhu: Are you ok?

Vedran: I'm drunk.

M2: Hey, Danel is here!

Vedran: Let's punch him in the throat!

12-7 

C3: I love man meat.

C3: At least you don't have a crappy little hand.


Anthony: What's a figgy pudding?


C3 Do I touch it?


12-10

Rob: Shoot me
Me: Only if you shoot me first
Rob: Aww. It's like a death pact. How cute.

Me: Why do you keep bees?

Rob: it's like having 60,000 little pets.

Rob: hahahajajajaha... That was me laughing partly in Spanish.


12-12 

Rob one of these days I'm going to wear my wrestling clothes and then your ass is mine.

Rob: my jeans aren't that tight.


Cash: Oh nom nom nom. Daddy issues.


Cash: I look like a pink candle kind of guy.


C3: Rube-in-stine


12-3 

Cash: I have a tongue like iron

12-24 

Starbucks guy: She's like a chinchilla. She takes baths in dust.

12-28
Jake: I really want to go back to my family.

Shea: Know what I like about drag queens?


12-29 

Caroline: Someone needs a nap. And it's me.