Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Quote List: Second Quarter, 2017

4-5
Steve: At least you can avoid that conflict...
Me via Steve: I don't mind conflict when I get my way.

4-19
Alan: ...Spyrates.

4-28
Stag: It's my fault for ordering a boys-size small. Men-sized pants just don't make my ass look good.

5-1
Adella: Just give him a bag of meat-flavored dick cookies.

5-2
Me: I'm just making sure I'm answering your actual question. You tend to word things in ways that have a lot of potential outcomes.
Stag: I played too many RPGs growing up. Sorry.

5-5
Nick Schulte: I ordered a hundred... or maybe fifty...? I ordered fucking paper towels.

Me: I sent my inner fat kid to fat camp for the summer.
Max: That's like conversion therapy!

5-8
Stag about my pink prof pic: Very pretty counter to your barbaric nature.

5-9
Grable: Don't damn me because I make you smile.

5-11
Stag: I am a bear... and I am balls deep.

Stag: ...See...this is how Hiroshima and Nagasaki happened.

Lillie: Process is fridge-worthy.

5-12
Stag: I'd rather eat that then put it on my body.

5-13
Me via Johnna: I'm thinking about getting a hermit crab.
Johnna: You want a hermit crab?
Me: Not really; I'm just lonely and want something to take care of.

5-18
Michael: You haven't gotten to the Hodor scene yet.
Robby: I think you mean Mordor...

Stag. Fair. Ducuntish, but fair.

5-21
Me while painting a house: Having fun yet?
Stag: There's a reason I was born German and not Mexican.

Stag: Grow up, and act 14 like the rest of us.

5-28
Bobby: I'm not saying he's a fridge digger...

6-8
Titus: Have you ever seen a midget move a couch?

6-14
Andrew: What the fuck is happening with lunch? I'm about to either freak out or pass out.

6-16
Chris: We're talking about dozens of dollars in bitcoins, Nick.

6-26
Andrew: You sound like the office drunk uncle.


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