Quotes: Third Quarter 2013

7-4 

C3 about the meatballs my mom was cooking: How close are those to being done?

Jonny: I used to have a crush on Mulder... That's the woman right?

Shea: Are those Xmen dollars?

Erica: That's weird. That's a weird thing to love. 

Vanessa after a super loud firework: Oh my god is that ok!?

Shea: You should watch Erica's sex syrup. 

7-6 

M2: I mean... I remember going to Cracker Barrel....

Me: You mean Crack Fox?

M2: I like fodder. It's a good word, starts with f...

M2: Small dreams in the day time.

C3: It's like a dragon eating a rat fetus. 

7-7 

Mom: Grab that baby!

7-8 

Nhu: Where'd I put that sandwich? Oh shit. It's on the floor. 

7-10 

Mom: I think she buffed a hair off my toe and then laughed about it. 

7-11 

Emily: Hopefully I make some friends, and they don't like... rape me. 

7-13 

C3: There was too much talking and not enough robot fighting. 

M2: Too late. Already touching it. 

Me: You'd get a nice nap in.

M2: Yeah it's called a concussion.

7-18 

I mean I like powdered sugar, but not on twat waffles.

I mean if my fictional girlfriend told me we were having twat waffles for breakfast.... 

7-19

Mark: Now I can drink another ten cups of coffee and die. 

Mark: This is the stripper by the way. Thanks for that.

Audrey: How do you know?

Mark: She told me. In the interview.

7-20 

Sue: Try to look black.

 

Jake: He tried to drown me.

7-21 

C3: I sat in some sap.

7-22 

Mark to me: You are my father. 

Doner: Cheerio, mother fucker.

Ol: I hope your day is game as fuck. 

7-31 

Dad: It sounds profane. If anyone FBed me I'd go kick their ass.

8-2 

C3: nothing cures boredom like cocaine. 

8-3

C3: I like hitting things with sticks.

Emily: I'm pregnant with thought. 

C3: Look at that kitty. It's like a little panther. 

8-4 

Emily: Do you remember the robot that was stalking me?

8-5 

Me: I could get you some kale.

Mark: I'd rather die. 

8-7 

Mark. What are these mason jars in here? It looks like urine.

Sinh: He's a cool cat, and I like cats. 

C3: Have you ever seen a kangaroo? They are t-rex deer. 

M2: Can I pass on this post-hiking breakfast? I'm afraid this may manifest into post-hiking mid-day drinking. 

8-10 

C3: There's your dose of smiles for the day.

Mike T: They poop out eggs. A lot. 

Jake, about N64: Want me to let you win?

8-13 

Druid: I know how to handle a staff. 

8-14 

C3: You're a vampire.

Nick Garvey: I hate churches because.... 

Nick Garvey: I bet you did. Because you're a great artist. 

Random bar guy: I have a Ryan Adams tattoo. 

Nick Garvey: I know what his job is. He's a Walmart greeter. 

Nick Garvey: I'm straight right now. I'd fuck a girl right now. 

Nick Garvey: I could sell this cigarette for a crack rock. 

Nick Garvey: I'm sorry my fancy shoes don't click when I walk. 

C3: I hope I don't look like that when I run. 

Nick Garvey: I pissed on Wash U. 

C3: You thought about it and then you ran into the bushes. 

8-15 

Tim: Were you the bait?

Audrey to Druid: I'm gonna stab you later. 

Tim: I can't finish a bottle of Hendricks. I'll die.

8-16

C3: ...and there's my train of thought so no one ask me any more questions.

M2: There's nothing but crazy, and cocaine, and bitches. 

Emily: Lord of the Rings characters: Smeagol.

C3: Aragorn.

Me: Gandalf

Nhu: Is it Billy..?

C3: I'm the second coming of Aaron Carter. Carter two.

Mom. He's gay... is he strong?

8-21 

Mark: I don't want you to see his naked body. 

Mom: She's six, and I'm afraid of this little bitch. She's gonna shank me. 

Woodge: I'm going to steal this, and I don't want anyone to see

Me: What is it?

Woodge: This rock. 

8-24

Cash: I like leather. 

Cash: To the disappointment of many a fellow, I'm not.

Me: Sit still.

Keo: I can't do that, or I'll explode. My whole body is the bus from Speed.

8-27

C3: I think our intern is getting cheeky. 

C3: All the tasties are back. 

8-29 

Mark to me: If you google "Chris Bruehl" your photo comes up.

Mark: What are you doing, Chris?

Doner: Googling "spider eyes."

Advice from Kidwell: Pepto and vodka. 

8-30

Mark: Sure that's just what we need. Give you sharp objects to throw.

Cash: So that's going to be a whole bunch of pajamas.

Cash: No one expects velocorapters.

Cash: 20-80.

Cash: Sometimes, I'm a keeper.

Cash: You know what happens when I don't fidget? My butt hurts! 

Cash: I like how my head feels.

Cash: I wish you could feel my head.... no... from the inside.

Cash: You might want to get more water cuz I drank yours too. ...I started laughing when I finished both. 

9-3 

Emily: .........glob glob.

C3: I'm not sure what to do with that. I'm going to let that one simmer. 

9-5 

C3: I like him... He's just so fucking different. In so many ways.

M2: ...Sorry pupils are dilated. 

9-6 

Julian. I like Science City

Me: You mean the Science Center?

Me: I like cinnamon on grits.

Lance: I like cinnamon on butter. 

9-7 

Cash: Raptor assisted genocide. 

Cash. You have to know when to pull out. 

9-9 

Doner: Want to see something awesome?

M2: Does it involve a primary color?

9-10 

Doner: We suck five!

Emily: I don't like random solids surprising me in my liquids! 

C3: Not supposed to be a surprise or random. 

9-10 

Doug: You want to do what with that!?

9-11 

Daniel Ronnback: It's bluebird, and between every photo you have the best days of your life. 

Doner to M2: Are you eating yogurt and steak? 

9-12 

Antoine Berger: Life is a succession of choices. 

C3: I'm not really a montage person.

9-13 

Doner: I was going for "ghost." You're the only person that can see me. See? Sinh. Sinh. Hey Sinh!

M2: I want to steal his keys... GTA 5 is coming out soon and I kinda want to prepare... These are very girly keys. I don't want them anymore. How would Doner set down his keys? -slams them down- 

Vedran: you want me to go hiking? I'm foreign!

C3: Now I'm going to search that and see what comes up... This is a fun game. 

C3: You should bring me meat every day. 

Emily: This is blasph-fucking-eme 

C3: It takes a special kind of man to look attractive when he's pooping. 

Emily: What are you... like... a manist? 

Megan: I understand white people speak. 

9-14 

Mom: She doesn't drink!

Sue: But she's still funny...

Pawpaw: eat the hamburger. Don't eat the pie. 

9-17 

Cash: And soon I will recede into my subterranean lair. ...Soon. 

Matt: I thought it was black people and everyone else. 

9-18

Vedran: Love you. No homo. 

9-19 

C3: I'm like 25% Chinese at this point.

9-20 

Mark: Cut this. CUT IT FOR ME!

9-21
Cash: Anytime I look for anything in this house I find a gun instead. Looking for packing tape? Gun. Lighter fluid? Gun. I'm sure everything I need in life is actually in the gun safe.

Cash: I'll kiss a girl with lip gloss!

9-23 

Vedran: Did you see that!?
Doner: I did. I'm impressed.
Vedran leaves.
Doner: I'm not really impressed.

9-24 

Cash: I don't rely on medicine to make me feel better, but whiskey has been around for centuries. 

Cash: Where did he go? I'm so concerned.

Chris Seaton: Are you going to straw it again?

Cash: Might as well. I'm not enjoying it.
 

Cash: I don't always insult people, but when I do I make sure it's a good un. 

Cash: I'd drink for you. Cash 9-24

Cash: What your gonna do... Is change the dates. 

Cash: I want you to use this insult... (starts laughing and forgets what it was.)
 

9-25 

Mark: I got the idea from Donut Palace!

Mark: What else can we get juice from? The blood of former employees?

C3: Doesn't he cough on you in your sleep?

Cash: I don't always talk a lot, but when I do it's about Johnny cash. 

9-26 

Mark: My three year old calls him "the funny little man."

9-27 

Dawn: He looks like a giant wolverine 

9-30

That's what I call retarded!

Quotes: Second Quarter 2013

4-23
C3: I'm bringing a couple of shirts and sherberdas.

4-24
C3: I'll bring you back something fun. Like bird flu.

4-25
Ryan: Is that Cam?
Me: No. It's a guy named Brian.
Ryan: Is that Cam's brother?

4-26
We did drugs off a cookbook.

Megan: Should I cough on that bike seat?

4-28
Nick: Don't question my uncooked pizza.

Me: Can I have a piece of the pizza?
Nick: I don't even cut it.

4-29
Megan: Wait… why is cake in parenthesis? If it means inebriation, then yes.

Shea: Hope is dead.
Vanessa: Best team captain ever.

5-1
Mark: I like drawing attention to my chest.

Joel: I'm a well of odd lingo

5-4
Woodge: Porcu-fucking-pine.

5-5
Mom: Do you have glaucoma?
Sue: No. Autism.

Sue: There goes Jim's chance.
Jim: No.
Sue: Best chance.

5-8
Sinh: Haha…. Hahahaha…. ha…
Me: What's so funny over there?
Sinh: I'm just trying to make a shitty situation better.

5-14
Mark: I can see this being creepy forever… There's a seven foot Asian man.

5-19:
Tom: We're going to have great adventures. And they start tonight!

Sean: Do YOU hate Japan??

5-20
C3: Its an ancient shake weight.

C3: Never give me a sword in real life.

C3: Hello, Mr. Black Man.

C3: I took off my clothes to be quieter.

5-21
C3: I'm gonna stab your ass.

5-23
We have two clients. And one of them is Audrey.

5-24
No Pocket Friday. It can be our next Twitter campaign.

5-25
I ejaculated a smile.

Emily: He'd be like… Ew. You know? Cuz I'm a girl…

5-28
Me: You can keep this (highlighter). It matches the color of your shorts.
C3: Thanks. I can keep it in my pocket with the cap off.

5-30
M2: I'm going to the bathroom to cry by myself. You tell no one about this.

5-31
Shea: I'd slit Mother Nature's throat if she were in front of me.

C3: Just think about me when you're looking at your leftovers.

C3: Maybe you're just permanently retarded.

C3: I've got some knives….

6-3
C3: Ohh. What's this magical faerie castle?

C3: What's your name, butt boy?

6-4
Mark to Sinh: I'm going to start calling you Pocahontas.

C3: Seems like a good business for me to make black magic robes for a living.

C3: I need to tend my health.

C3: I gave him a staff of zombies so he brought that guy back.
Me: So your friend made a friend?
C3: Mmhmm. It's like paying it forward.

C3: You're gonna run out of magic soon, and then you're gonna be a sad fucking panda.

6-5
Sinh: I'm so glad I have cable again. Spent all day watching hardcore porn… Pawn!

6-8
C3: Whenever I went to the galleria with Sinh. I used to go to the movie theater for popcorn and eat it in the food court.

6-10
What do you consider a cock ring? Let's talk about that.

Emily: What's this?
C3: My happy station.

C3: I have a good joke, but I'm saving it.

6-11
Mark: Notice anything suspicious? They're all Asian porn people.

6-12
Nhu: Megan! Stop moving your face! …What are you doing?
Megan: I can't move my face.
Nhu: I can't either.

Nhu: It's dark in here. I'm thirsty. I need some water.

Megan: I'm only putting it in your mouth a little bit.

Digi: You eat like you're pregnant with three kids.

Digi: Remember the salmon?

Nhu: You threw up in this place!?

6-13
M2: Poor Remy? Poor me! You need a bigger cat. That thing takes forever.

6-14
M2: C3 likes everything.

Chris Doner to Mark's kids as Sinh chases them: Don't let him get you! He's got diseases….

6-16
Dad: You look like you've been up all night on speed.

6-17
G: I reckon if I move fast enough the rain can't touch me.

Megan: it smells like child.

6-18
Doner: -grumble grumble- Asians…
Sinh: I'm used to tropical weather.
Doner: I know. Go home.

Adalyn: Who's that?
Mark: That's a big Asian.
Adalyn: Hug him.

6-20
Sinh: Did you guys just see Frodo?

6-21
Mark: You didn't bring your teacher an apple?
Doner: This isn't the 50s, Mark.

Mark: Haha. You people are actually bringing me joy today.

C3: Nothing exists.

C3: Going to get more sassy juice.

6-22
Megan: I sat at the bar to see if I could attract weirdos in my nasty clothes, and I can. He's rocking back and forth.

6-24
Sinh: ….I guess if you're hunting sharks and mermaids…

6-25
Sinh: I'd love to play with a monkey like that.

Me: Like a bro date?
M2: Woah. Woah. …yes.

6-27
Mark: I'm not taking any photos. I'm taking a sandwich and I'm going to find a stone to sit by.

Sinh talking about meeting a gynecologist: I have so many questions. It's like meeting God.

Just jerking off and driving… they teach you that in trucker school.

C3: Check this out. I'm trying to pull this out of here. It's stuck.

M2: I'm busy.

C3: This is the special hand.

Sinh: You were talking? Penises?

Nhu: Remy! Stranger Danger!

C3: I like emus, but not ostriches.

No. I'm just gonna fuck your mom.

Lance: We just like making you laugh.

6-29
Lance: I hate you, change. You fill my pocket with sorrow.

6-30
Lance: To me, Chicago is a state.

Quotes: 1-5-2013 through 4-22-2013

1-5
M2: C3 is not a cat.
C3: I can be for the right amount of money.

1-8
M2: I only want the third one. Your first two kids are going to be a mess.

Me: Need something?
M2: Jason, Zach, Billy, Kimberly, Trina and Tommy.
Me: I don't know what that means.
M2: I don't know. I was just naming Power Rangers.

Nick: I'm trying to eat.
Dad: Honey booboo, honey booboo, honey booboo's mom.

1-12
Blair: They look identical! I mean… I'm not wearing my glasses…

1-14
C3: Can you build me an army of boxes worthy of Mordor?

1-18
C3: Sounds like you're all going to get food poisoning.

1-19
Grandpa: White delights.

1-22
Dave: What's this cat's name? Not that it matters. We could call it "Disinfectant Wipes" and it'd come.

1-24
M2: Would it help if I told you I'm Asian?

1-25
Nick Cash: Crack cocaine and prostitutes. Enjoy your cake.

1-29
Sinh: I risked my life for coconut once.

1-31
Dave: You gotta play the game, bitch.

2-4
C3: Dave? Did you take my pants?

2-5
Sinh: …I get more likes with a cat photo.

M2: It's built so it will float when it's in space.
C3: Yeah. Me too.

Emily: I'm not the evil sex demon.

C3: If we live in this area I'm definitely buying a gun.

2-9
C3: Are we in a good area or bad? I see a Churches. Definitely a bad area.

2-19
Mark: I'm kind of a slum lord.

2-21
M2: I can feel your tears through the keyboard.

3-8
Anonymous: Genocide has its place.

3-12
C3: I'm going to ignore this for twelve hours and if it's still a thing….

C3: I'm pretty hit or miss tonight.

3-13
M2: I want a pony. My dreams are so great.

3-14
Mark: Waste yourself.

3-18
Emily: Gushers is my go-to example of why I don't like food to surprise me.

3-25
Anonymous: Nipple blades, glory holes, and Auschwitz.

3-28
Megan: Because he wants to spider monkey me?

3-29
C3 about M2's autobiography: Call it "Outside the Lines: A Coloring Book by Mike Ly."

3-30
C3: I am not a peep. I am not a marshmallow candy.

3-31
Jake: Abby? Do you eat bugs?

4-10
Ryan: Did that guy just pick up a lollipop?

Mark to me: Got any of those pills?

Mark: There's a pickle in his drawer. Sinh has a pickle in his drawer. Seriously. It's a pickle in a bag.

Nick Garvey: Why is everyone coughing in this house? Do I need to leave?

4-11
C3: Just get a margarita and shut the hell up.

Ryan: I'll be your scary wing-man. Sleep with him or I'll kill you.

4-12
Sean: Here is a bat manatee .

4-16
Mark: Are you  Mormon? Does your shirt say "Mormon!?"

Ryan: Aye yie yie! That hole was hot!

Mark: One of these days you're going to bite into something. You're going to get electrocuted and you're going to die.

Cam: I'm gonna go with "pop a boner."

Emily: Why would I pull it?

C3: What the fuck, bro? You fucking lizard.

C3: I don't think she can. I don't think I want to. I'm not going to be pressured into it.

Emily: No. What your finger wants to do…

Emily: I know what a Bop It is, but I meant a Skip It.

C3: The Bop It tangent is over.

Anthony: I'll just chug a bunch of water. Do you have any bread?

Megan: I have a violin and she wants to play it.

4-17
Cam: A filter? A filter!? You Canadians doing your weird shit…

Cam: Who's Elmer Fudge?

Emily: I can't do.

Emily: So… Tell me about the chocolate carrots.

Cam: Yeah. That "L" word? That's carrots.

4-19
C3 holds up a mirror to me: I'm surprised you didn't turn into stone.

4-20
Joe: It's like an escape pod for your phone.

4-21
Candace: You cannot throw a Coach purse off the balcony!

4-22
Mark: I'm black.

Doner: I think you just gave yourself cancer.

C3: It's stabbin' time.

Quotes: Lost and Found

Sometimes the quotes I collect are scribbled on tiny sheets of paper. In the process of packing up for the sake of moving, lots of these little sheets were found.

Barbara: ...whoever pays me the most.
Paul: I'll give you thirty-five hours next week.
Barbara: You're going to hell for that.

5-21-12
Paul: That guy kept staring at me. I kept giving him weird looks, hoping he'd get the hint.

6-28
Dustin about his glasses: Someone told me they make me look special.

6-30
Jonny: Remember the time I put honey on your buttons?

Paul: Alright guys... no more holocaust jokes today. 

7-7-12
Me: Why is your tongue green?
Trevor: Intergalactic space sex.

7-12-12
Me: Jonny is in the back making monkey noises.
Jess: He should be in a home.

8-17-12
Joe Bishop: I have some sort of disease. It's called "my stomach is a sensitive little school girl."

Quote List: July 1 through December 31st, 2012

7-2
Mom: I'm going to be a dung beetle in my next life. I'm going to spend my whole life looking for shit and being happy I found it.

8-4
Mom as she slams the door shut: Suzanne! No matter what, say "no!"
Mike: Do you have a calculator?

8-13
Shea: What kind of poor kids are we talking about?

8-22
My dad talking about Romney in this debate, "He looks like an adoring bride."

Mom: Thank you for not eating the last half-pea.

8-23
Dave: Roll it like a joint.

8-31
Aaron: Well this breeze can fuck off.

Luke: Ha… ahhhh. This place is fucked.

9-1
Sean: You just gotta homeless it.

Lance: I just pissed on a spider.

9-3
Anthony: Dumb ass horse movies…

Shea: She's the one that sleep walks and eats sausage, right?

Anthony: You weren't spoiled because you had hotdog buns.

Anthony: Wait- go back to her aunt and uncle. She had a baby with what?

9-8
Dad: Yeah. I'm going up a one-way street. You're buying drugs. Who cares?

9-12
Emily: Eleven pounds of ginger chews coming through.

Mom: I was ready to kill and die.

Mom: I think I have rice under my toe

9-15
Cam S.: If Batman had a watch, this would be it.

9-18
Dave: Wow. Everyone is so indecisive! Lunch should be a festive occasion…

9-18
M2: I get pissy when it rains.
Mark: You get prissy when it rains?

10-4
Dave to Sinh: You laugh like a girl.

Greg: He calls himself Vader. What a fag.

Greg: Re-cock-ulous. You're welcome.

10-6
Mom: Why do you deal me these cards?
Sue: Because I love you.

10-8
Cam S.: What is this?
Dave: A scale. For drugs.

10-12
Rosie: Dogs are awkward. Cats just kind of melt into puddles.

Nick: The fridge of poor people: Beer, pickles and jelly.

10-25
Nick: Oh. I forgot she'd have to bring her family.

10-31
Cam S.: Does anyone else smell a turkey cooking?

11-2
Cam S.: That little tree almost took out a baby

11-5
M2: The last time she went to the bank some guy offered her "favors." We get nothin'.

CD: Day drinking. It's rough.

11-14
CD: Holy essay of an email, Batman!

11-15
CD: Bippity boppity booyah.

11-27
Mark: I feel like a grizzly bear.

11-24
Mom: I don't know why animals are sexually attracted to me.

12-4
Dave: That's what I need. I need crack. Right now.

M2: It's not magic if it's real.

Dave: What happens is I HAVE gum, and then some sneaky fucking trolls come in and steal my shit.

12-13
M2: I'm slightly on drugs so everything looks cool.

12-30
Kidwell: Google "Murder in Honduras."

12-31
Ryan: The cops are gonna come. We're gonna get tased.

Quotes January 1, 2012 - August 31, 2012

1-3-12
Mom: I had a drug test and a TB test on my arm. They like me.

1-6
Julian: I stood up and could feel it in my legs.

Julian: You can't touch me while I'm touching myself.

1-26
Julian: It's a machine gun of happy beams.

1-18
Candace: You found him first. Besides, he's probably already in love with you. He'd be like, get away from me, vanilla wench! I already have my minty bride. I would be very happy for you. And attend the wedding. Looking for his brothers.

2-6
Matt A.: Can you take professional photos of me and my cat?

2-8
Mom: This is where they find the bodies.

2-11
Lance: Come. Hold this.

2-27
Jason: It's like getting punched right in the motivation.

3-1
Brenda after getting her change from the soda machine: It's Vegas!

3-10
ShaNae: What is wrong with these crazy whores?

Sue: She was just ugly. You just equated that with mean.

Sue: Who's taking so long at the brisket?

3-27
Paul to Jonny: You look like a dingo- Wait… You're not Australian, are you?

4-3
Shea to Nate: You would love to have a cat to pet while you drink tea.

5-5
Jess: Is it just me or is he a nit-picky little bitch?

Josh: Someone marked me with a pen because he thought I was too close to him.

Jim to Josh: I bet you wore a lot of corduroy.

5-7
Nate: You can't bend reality. You're not in X-Men.

5-12
Quinn: Can I eat the rest of Ellie's corn dog?
Shaun: She licked the whole thing.

5-13
Nate: Does anyone else feel like we haven't done anything other than helping the guests?
Barb: Yeah, and I hate people.

Dad: Goodbye, whore.

6-1
Micah: Shake a cancer baby.

Mo: Fuck Holland.

6-2
Lance: My armpit tickles because you tickled it.

Lance: That guy doesn't know anyone. Should we talk to him? His pants are really tight in the back anyway.

Lance: They call me Ponyo and I fucking hate it.

6-7
Mom: It's like zapping ketchup: Hot-boiled barbecue sauce.

Nate: When it's late at night and I have to go to the kitchen for a glass of water- that's the song I sing.

6-9
Shea: How many burgers do you want?
Nate: Four if I'm feeling gutsy.
Shea: Jesus. Really?
Nate: Yeah. I'm fueled by self-loathing.

6-10
Barb: This is what the color brown would taste like.

Auden: It's going to be loud for us, and we're going to get an ear infection.

6-21
Stefphen: What is that? A lynx or something?

7-4
Rebecca: For breakfast this morning, I had like… licorice.

7-21
Josh: She doesn't check your work, does she?

7-22
Shea: It's like hiking for your brain.

7-28
Josh: Why do you have a machete?
Me: Why don't you have a machete?
Josh: Because I'm not leading the life of the Children of the Corn.

UNDATED:
Nate: You're really good at laughing.

Nate: Chortle, chortle, chortle. 

Quotes: April 30th to December 31st

4-30
Tyler: Tom? I have a questions about tea.

Tyler to Tom: Do all British people have short arms?

5-7
Lance: I don't want water beetle friends….

5-16
Kidwell Hugs Dmitri: You're a big guy!
Kidwell Hugs Bryan Jones: You're a little guy!

5-23
Lance: I want to go out in a field and Sound-of-Music it.

5-29
Kyle Turner: Someone asked me what purpose cats serve… Let me put it this way, we bought 40 pounds of dog food… and zero pounds of cat food. That's all I'm saying…

6-8
Kelsey: Roley poley dumpy babies living off bagel bites.

6-17
Tracy: I'm going to have to drink a beer right here in the walmart parking lot.

6-18
Kendall: A beetle! A grasshopper! I love nature!

6-23
Tyler: I heard someone say "chillax" the other day and I almost punched him in the face.

6-29
Kyle Turner: You know that if you get too many artistic people in a room we all just end up painting each other...

7-23
Dad: It's like I have baby ass hair on my head.

8-7
Katie: Is your happy place full of unhappy people?

8-10
Peter Kromberg: These lies get more outrageous each year.

8-13
Mom to Nick: Does it not make you feel gay at all to judge the temperature of the bathroom water?

8-19
Mom: I like to play Sink the Splenda.

8-20
Tom! Look! Turkeys!
Tom: Dexety dang dang dang. I was so excited I didn't know what to say.

8-28
Cam P.: if and when you get married, could i sing at your wedding?

8-29
Mom: Percocet humor.

8-31
Elsie: I want to dry my hair outside in the wind.

9-8
Maria: He says his dad kicked him in the head when he was a kid.
Lauren: Like a lot?

9-13
Dad: I always wait for your smile. It makes me bright inside.

9-17
Joe from Rise Against: You going to the show tonight?
Me: I wish I could, but no.
Joe: Awe, then I don't want to go either.

10-8
Jake (covered in a Rams blanket): I'm a witch.
Me: You look more like a ghost.
Jake (still covered in the Rams blanket): I'm a ghost.

10-9
Starbucks guy: Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get started for you today?
Me: I actually need a minute if that's okay.
Starbucks guy: Sure take your time. Just let me know when you're ready.
Me: Okay thanks.
Starbucks guy: -starts humming the jeopardy theme song-
Me: ugh. You suck.

10-15
Jenn: Is that the town with the white squirrels?
Jessica: God, I hope so!

10-19
Me: What's that sound?
(the other) Micah: Wolves. Howling.

10-29
Me: It kind of hurts.
Dad: I know. It's like sucking in your brain.

10-30
Kristi: How special is it? Like on a scale of 1-10? Like 0 being plain toast and 10 being unicorns?

11-1
Dad: I gotta quit doing that. Now I'm dizzy.

11-4
Mike (age 8): Do you know what patience is?
Jake (age 3): I'm gonna beat you down.

11-13
Me to my dad: Do you like cherries?
Mom: I like cherries if they come in the form of pie.

11-17
Amanda: I'm breathing in my mouth from anger.

Amanda: It's like titanic smooth jazz.

11-24
Sue: It took my mom a year and a half to deliver.

Grandpa: There are several buckets of dirt.

Mom: That's a whole potato that didn't get mashed in.
Sue: I told you it was lumpy.

12-10
Aaron: What kind of coffee is this? I went to McDonald's once and didn't realize you have to do all that shit yourself.

Mo: I'm gonna touch your boob by the end of the night.

Mo: … shitting in the sink …

Mo: I was trying to heel-fight you. Just do it!

Mo to Eli: You look like a gay.

12-12
Mom: I got to use my tambourine today.

12-16
Mom: Greg got Mike a Chia Obama head.
Dad: But that's what I wanted…

12-21
Mom: You don't want to watch Justin Queerber
Dad: The Beibs?

12-25-11
Dad: Hun? I put hairspray under my arms. I don't know what to do.

Unknown Date:
Greg: I'm going to go choke on a button.

Le Corbusier

So I came across this couch, and I figured I'd share it. Now you can take home a little piece of Corbusier from Regency Shop. I wonder what Crobusier would think about merchandise in his style being sold online...

Quote List: Winter 2010-11 & Final Spring Semester Senior Year 2011

12-14
Mackenzie: When John and Kate broke up, I cried.

12-15
Lance: Infomercials are NOT awesome.
Johnna: WHAT!? Shake Weight!

Johnna: It's like a hobo habitat.

12-18
Me (about the Wizard of Oz): This is always on now.
Dad: That's because kids like it, and they ran out of Christmas shit.

12-28
Mom: These earrings make me want to break out in a rendition of Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.

Dad: Take back all the queer stuff.

12-30
Vinnie: woosh.
Mom: You should be tired. You worked hard.

Mom: Gary Coleman died like three months ago. We had a moment of silence for him. That might not be true.

Mom: Dad thinks that Sherri thinks he's gay.
Nick: Sherri thinks your gay?
Dad: Did you see those shoes?

1-2
Me: Name an artist.
Kenny: Leonardo DiCaprio

1-4
Lynn: I've been ripped off by a lot of deaf people.
Cromwell: Cool!

1-5
Cromwell: Why do we spend the time burning someone when we could just shoot 'em?

Cromwell: Where are the bicycles- over there. Fuck you.

1-6
Lance: This is my squid, and I will call him Squiddy.

Cromwell: His sister: Where are the pictures of my kids?
Cromwell: I have no idea where they are. They're in a box somewhere.

Cromwell: "New York loves him for his oblique pragmatism." What the fuck is oblique pragmatism?

Cromwell: I don't understand this. This is brilliant.

1-7
Maeghan about my mugs: Oh they feel special.

1-12
Sam: There's not a single mother-fucker at KCAI that's Burt Reynolds.

1-18
Cromwell: We'll fuck on the back of the bus, won't we? ... I don't mean YOU people. I mean metaphorically.

1-21
Jenn: How's THAT going to work?
Jessica; probably just fine.

David: I was looking at my R2D2 when I woke up and I was wondering if I should open it up and carry it in my pocket as a good luck charm...

David: And Jenn doesn't know shit about art.

1-24
Sean: Yeah, I looked it up, Dmitri wouldn't tell me.

Dmitri: I'm committing myself to good ideas this semester.
Mo: It's good to have goals.

Kidwell: And finally.... who is that strange man, and what is he doing here?

Johnna: There will be the occasional black woman, and I'm like, "that's not in Troy."

1-25
Luke: I'd eat sand before I ate a baby.

Jason: I'm drunk and weeping. I wouldn't be sarcastic right now.

1-31
Dustin: He's not wearing anything.
Kidwell: At first I thought that was Paul Diamond. Not that I know anything about his anatomy...

2-2
Jessica: I love him, he covers everything in rhinestones...

2-4
Chris: Are you a senior?
Johnna: Yeah are you gonna down grade me some more?
Kidwell: Is that possible?

Kidwell: Hello justification. Are you optically aligning? Nay.

Chris to Dmitri: Maybe it was the typography in your book that made them not want to go into design.
Kidwell: WOooh. Bo-da-bah!

2-9
Kidwell: The Museum of Sex they did. Sadly there's no imagery.

Kidwell: I can tell. I'm like Santa.

Kidwell: I can go on for days about sponges.

2-11
Dmitri: Let's just face it. You suck at catching things.
Johnna: I can't help it, it's small, hard and misshapen.

Luke starts randomly laughing
Abigail: What?
Luke: Did you see the kitty on the roof?

2-14
Tyler: I tried to frighten you. I was gonna stand behind you until you turned around.
Abigail: Why did you want to frighten me?
Tyler: I thought you'd enjoy it.

Micah to me: You're the cake boss of design.

Kidwell: Don't laugh at this day.

Kidwell to me: What bitch do you want to grind?

2-18
Phyllis: Excuse me. I locked my stupid ass out of the office.
Reed hands her his key, She leaves.
Reed: I love Phyllis.

2-20
Dmitri: I mean what's he going to do, spank us?
Amanda: Oh my God I hope so.

Dmitri to Sean: If you get nervous and rabbit fuck the shit out of this...

2-23
Kidwell: Monument to lost virginity? ...perhaps.

Kidwell about Johnna being late: What do you bet that she comes in, and is like -sigh-?

Chris: Anyone seen Bryan Jones today?
Johnna: He disappears randomly.
Micah: He's a shape-shifter.

Luke: Seizure!

Kidwell: Flowers... fish...
Luke: Kisses...

2-24
Dustin: I wish he wasn't in photo, cuz I miss his body.

2-28
Sean: Oh my god, I don't know why I know this.
Johnna: We had this talk last night. You like Celine Dion and white chocolate mochas...

3-4
Jenn: I wished my hair produced flowers. I wished my something produced flowers.... wait....

Dmitri: Like "eat your beans today!"

Kidwell: Maybe I need to go to a confessional or something.

Johnna to Sean: Are you gonna get up and dance like a woman?

Kidwell: I think my mom made me a poncho once.
Dustin: That's the sketch for the poncho right there.
Kidwell: Not like that.

Dmitri: I drag the shit out of that.

3-5
Tammy: I wanna see you get a running start. That's why we have a runway.

Bryan: Carly I need an answer that only you know. What's the address of this place?

Lance: I can't just say "woah?"
Dmitri: Are you Keanu Reeves?

3-6
Kidwell: Good thing it's not completely dark in here and the room's full of knives.

Dustin: You're like the little girl previewing Brittany Spears.

3-8
Kidwell: And then there's the Give A Fuck factor.

Kidwell: It's shrimp scampi night at the Kidwell house. At some point your relationship boils down to a schedule.

Kidwell to Jessica: I want to slap you.

Kidwell: Hah haha ha..... asses.

Abigail: So I can start weeding some of these out...
Kidwell: Heh, "weed."

Mo: Lance? Do you have any crackers?

Dmitri: No, no, no. My coffee does not smell like spaghetti-o's. 

Dustin: There needs to be a "no fucking way" button.

Kidwell: You guys are going to be industrial designers when you leave, then Sean is going to have to find something else to do with his life.
Sean: What does that mean?

Kidwell: What!? There's the word "sex" in there! Oh my goodness. You can make a project out of anything. Now I understand the lipstick video....

3-11
Dmitri to Sean: That IS my pencil! I knew you had it, you bastard!

3-15
Mckenzie: My fingers smell like potatoes.

_______


SPRING BREAK QUOTES (3-13 through 3-16)

Micah: I'm in the market for 100 count sheets. It's like sleeping in lotion.

Patrick: That's a fuckin' rat, bra!

Matthew: Let's make a design baby.

Lance (suddenly stops laughing): You have a pickle?
Mckenzie: Two!

Abigail: These are yours?
Flatstock Printmaker: Yep.
Abigail: Then I think I love you.
Flatstock Printmaker: I love you too, just don't tell my wife.

_______


3-21
Kidwell: First day of spring! First day of spring!

Kidwell: Son-of-a-bitch-shit!

Kidwell: Are we waiting for anyone?
Micah: Bryan.
Kidwell: So we're not waiting for anyone.

Dustin: Just thinking of the dangers of cold poles...

Kidwell: No, no discourage, no.

Johnna: Pool of jell-o.
Kidwell: I don't get that.... would it be cut in squares?

Kidwell: They didn't have much to do besides pile the rocks.

3-23
Abigail: I'm supposed to bring a friend– even if they're kicking and screaming.
Lance: I'll punch you.

3-25
Does anyone have an old man dongle?
Mo: Lance does.

Micah:  Everyone else would let it go. We see it as opportunities.

3-28
Kidwell: Nooo don't touch that. Don't touch it!

Kidwell to Bryan: Now I'm starting to talk like you. I'm getting crazy.

Kidwell: I will never hit you. The bottle of coke flying across the room will hit you.

Kidwell: Anyone else? Micah Barta? Meredith? <- not in class

Kidwell: I can't tell you how many I sit through where they're just like "............. I'm done."

3-30
Kidwell: Where's my pointing stick?

Kidwell: Where arrowheads? Where?

Micah: I'm getting gifts left and right. I'm making out like a Mexican police chief.

Kidwell: Do they still pay for blood?

Tyler: You smoke cigars?
Mo: Yeah
Tyler: That's hilarious.

3-31
Sean: That's a good song.
Dmitri: I made it up myself.

4-1
Sean: My S key is screwed up.
Dmitri: Your S key.... We had this discussion last night. I even said, "Dude, your S key is effed up," and you laughed really hard...?

Kidwell: Have you made anything since we last met?
Mo: I made this.
Kidwell: What the hell is that?

4-5
Dustin: I just keep thinking of the word feces... It's my favorite word.
Luke: I said "huh" because I'm deaf and can't read your text.

4-6
Dustin: Lance? You can let the people at starbucks know that I am still surprised that there are raisins in my bagel when it's supposed to be multi grain.

Dmitri: Your favorite movie is Bad Boys II. You didn't like Ratatouille. You didn't like Wally. Case and point.

Kidwell: He's brain damaged, isn't he?

4-7
Sean: Carly? Do you know where my fucking exactos are?
Carly pulls off her headphones: What?
Sean: How was your day?

4-8
Dustin: He's a douche. He said, "booty slappin.'"

Amanda: Look at this bug I just killed
Johnna: Ew! You probably have AIDS.

Dustin: I had a rat that had mites once.

Kat, way too excited: I feel sick inside too!

4-11
Kidwell: It's deforming me!

Dustin: It's two-sweater weather, y'all.

Dustin: Doesn't it look like Lance is humping something?
Lance: Looks like my what is what?

Sean to Dmitri, while holding a tape measure: I wonder how far it is from my forehead to your forehead.

4-16
Josh Zink: I didn't get a salad. I got an orange.

4-18
Johnna: I feed raccoons crackers, but the one has started bringing friends to my house.

Kidwell: Would you know what W is? Water? White?

4-21
Me to Sean: Why are you so mock-snippy tonight?
Dmitri: Mock Snippy. Sounds like a rapper name. MS for short.

4-23
Johnna: I have to go I have real shit to do tomorrow.
Joe: I have to work.
Johnna: You work at Walmart in the garden center!

Johnna: I always have time to make babies.

Sean: I was going to drive to Blurb headquarters and burn it down.

Johnna: Everything grosses Dustin out, except floppy penises. Which grosses me out and I also like penis.

4-25
Bryan stands up to present his and Jessica's project
Kidwell: Why is Bryan doing this?

4-28
Johnna: I mean, I have patients. I take care of (...)....

Mo: Brian probably played with rocks.... Lots of rocks.

Tammy: Damn everybody. Everybody's shit.

4-29
Kidwell: If you ever want to feel better about your life, go to a hospital.

cool stuff

Paul Cool Friday

http://www.beonlineb.com/

http://www.empireonline.com/gallery/gallery.asp?GID=2353

http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/logo-design-gone-wrong/

Spat: Welcome to Anywhere (A Monument to Story Writing)

kidwell_monument_final

Note to Self

http://nytimesbooks.blogspot.com/

Senior Show: Push/Play Final Logo

Degree Project: icon iteration, color choices, type choices

Spring Break: Austin, Texas (March 13-16, 2011), video

This is the video that Abigail threw together showcasing all of the photos that she and Patrick took while in Austin.


A Texas Break from Abby Gallagher on Vimeo.

Spring Break: Austin, Texas (March 13-16, 2011)

Good food, good times, good memories. We were in Austin for 4 days, 3 nights, and we were just in time for SXSW. We were able to hit flatstock 2011 while we were there, and it was fantastic. We toured at the Livestrong headquaters, Pentagram's Austin branch, and Sanders/Wingo. It was a very inspiring trip. You should be able to view more photos by visiting the album I made on facebook.

Senior Show: Push Play possible image treatments